We Are Not Shining Stars //Jayden

[LILLIAN ASTIN]

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[JAYDEN NICHOLLS]

what a wicked game to play

[atrb=border,0,true] For it being so late in the night, Jayden had to say that it was pretty damn nice outside. Granted he had on a hoodie but he always sported one during the night unless it was a hundred degrees or more during the day. Then there would be no reason for him to need a sweater at night but right now he wanted one. It had been a while since he had been on his own bus though and right now he did not want to go back there. He could not stomach the thought of Lily and Julian being all lovey dovey. It would make him physically sick and right now he did not want to do just that. So the boy would get up, shower, get ready and then leave and he would not come back until he could not stay awake any longer. Sometimes he would not even go back to his own bus, he would just pass out on someone else’s bus or hotel room or wherever he went, honestly the boy was not picky. He figured that now was a good time to go back and shower before he went to bed. He had not showered since last night and honestly Jayden was feeling a little bit on the gross side, not like it mattered. How many people really practiced good hygiene on tour? As he walked through the city he tried to keep the thoughts of his little predicament out of his head. The best way for Jayden to just pretend that this never happened is to deny that it happened. One of the only reasons he would do this is because maybe, if he denied for a while he might start to actually believe it. And then he could get on with his life because he was tired of pretending. He was tired of pretending that it didn’t hurt when she was with her boyfriend and he was tired of pretending that he was okay. He wasn’t. In fact he was the opposite. And that was why he had to just get off the bus and stay away from it as long as possible. Sure, maybe he was being a big man baby about this but honestly who else would not do the same thing? He also was going to slaughter his brother for being a shit head and telling everyone his business. That really bothered him so he was going to personally give his brother a nice back punch in the face. Maybe not the face, but he would punch him in the arm or something. The problem was he did not want to go back to the bus though. He was not even close to tired and if he just sat there and stared at the ceiling he might go insane. So he would just go have a few drinks and then call it a night. Who knew, maybe he would meet a girl or something while he was in there. The possibilities were endless. So he found the nearest club, great for picking up chicks, and then waited in line. When he finally got to the front he walked in and saw a person that he really did not want to see and it annoyed the hell out of him that his eyes immediately found her in the place. He scowled and noticed how drunk the girl actually was and he sighed. Well this probably would not end well. So he tapped on her shoulder, his eyebrows furrowing together. “What are you doing here?” he asked, although that was probably a dumb question. Then he sighed, feeling like he should probably take her back before something bad happened to her. “Maybe you should stop whatever you’re doing because that surely isn’t dancing and go back to the bus?” he gave her a slight smirk as he felt a little twinge of disappointment. So much for going to meet chicks he guessed. Oh well, there was always tomorrow.

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[LILLIAN ASTIN]

[/b] she managed to slur out as they stood face to face.

Lily didn’t understand why Jayden didn’t just leave her alone when he saw her rather than coming over and making a big deal out of her being there. So what if she was drunk it wasn’t like she was hurting anyone she was just having fun and as far as she was concerned he had no say in what she said or did anymore. She watched him carefully desperately wanting to escape into the crowd but knowing in her drunken stupor she would never make it out without him noticing. She wished he would have ignored her presence and found himself another girl to bother at least she would have had the decency to leave him alone if she had been the one to see him first.

His next comment caused an ache in her chest and she fought back a few tears unsure of why his words had hurt so much. Jayden was a jerk and that wasn’t anything she wasn’t used too so why did it hurt her so much? She wanted to slap his stupid smirk off of his face as he stood there but she didn’t even have the stability to do that, instead she just glared and crossed her arms over her chest. ’’Why don’t you mind your own damn business and leave me alone?’’ she snapped back turning on her heel and attempting to stumble off into the crowd to get as far away from him as possible.
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[JAYDEN NICHOLLS]

what a wicked game to play

[atrb=border,0,true] When Jayden was staring at her he felt his heart beat about a hundred miles a minute and it felt like all the blood in his body was rushing to his head. He hated this feeling and he loved it at the same time. He wanted to just kiss her right now but he could not. Not with all these witnesses. But he realized that he really did miss her. Even if they were always fighting she was one of his best friends. After their fights were always his favorite part of their friendships because once they made up it was like everything was right in the world. And he really missed talking to her and making fun of her, even if he turned into an asshole sometimes. He had never meant for that to happen but it did and there was nothing that he could do about it. So the boy sighed and closed his eyes for a second, hoping that the girl did not run away because it seemed that she was not very happy in seeing him. And that thought kind of made him sad but he would never really admit it out loud. That would obviously be admitting too much and they both knew what happened the last time that they had gotten drunk together. He never wanted to do that again because the guilt was still tearing away at him. He then frowned at her answer, wishing that she would not be so mean to him. Sure, he probably deserved it because he had said something pretty hurtful things when he was mad but it was what he did. When Jayden got angry or upset he generally just shut down and let his slight attitude take control and that never turned out good for anyone. So he sighed and shook his head at her. “Are you sure this is fun? You look kind of like a fool.” he told her while his lips curled into a slight grin. Sure, that was probably mean of him to say but hey, it was the truth. Maybe she would not even think anything of it since she was drunk. And how much of this conversation would she remember in the morning? He doubted any of it because she sounded so drunk that she was getting him drunk. Except not really, it did not work like that. So he sighed and told himself to just calm down a little bit before she slapped him or something, he did not want that. Jayden frowned at her comment and sighed when she turned to run away. He wanted to just glue her shoes to the ground so she would not leave for a little bit but then he wondered why he even bothered. He should just go back to the bus and let her get what was coming to her, which was probably just puke to be honest. Instead he followed her and then grabbed her wrist, ignoring the electricity that was radiating through his fingers. “You’re drunk and you’re pretty. That never really ends well so why don’t we just go back to the bus and you can sleep and I’ll leave you alone for the rest of the week.” he said while wincing. He hoped that the sadness had not shown through his voice but just thinking that he would not see her for a while killed him inside. It was probably for the best though he really needed to just forget about his feelings. They had to stay friends or so help him god he would turn into a shitty friend and he did not want to do that.

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[LILLIAN ASTIN]

[/b] she snapped back shaking her head and crossing her arms once more. She hated being so rude to him, in fact she hated calling him names at all but if he was going to be rude to her she had no problems throwing it right back at him, two could play at that game even if one of them was slowly losing focus. The room continued to spin so much in fact that Lily was sure she was on some ridiculous carnival ride that was going way to fast. She closed her eyes but her body still felt like it was being thrown around at ridiculous speeds even though she really was not moving at all.

As she stumbled forward she almost thought Jayden was just going to let her go and leave her to find her way back to the bus or to Julians bus or anywhere really that she could just lie down and make the world stop spinning. But then his hand grabbed her wrist and she felt the electricity of his touch and she froze up almost forgetting where she was or where the hell she had been planning on going instead she focused on the feeling of his touch the feeling that she had missed so much. His words brought her back to reality though and she pulled her wrist out of his grip swinging around and almost falling over in the process. ’’I’m not going anywhere, you aren’t my boyfriend so get off my case and just forget that you saw me here tonight’’ she replied before trying to continue her way through the crowd and away from Jayden.
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[JAYDEN NICHOLLS]

what a wicked game to play

[atrb=border,0,true] She was so god damn frustrating. Sometimes there were days where Jayden wondered why he even bothered with her. And he could feel his annoyance level start to rise because she could be so god damn stubborn too and he was just annoyed with that. It was probably because this was him and if it was her boyfriend then she would not hesitate to do what he asked. And that thought actually hurt him a lot more than it should have. He was her best friend you would think that she would at least listen to him a little bit. Granted, he had been a shitty friend to her as well but he could not help it. He just wanted things to go back to normal if he was being honest. Well, as normal as normal could get. He really missed her and her smile and her laugh and the way her eyes sparkled when she looked his way. He had only noticed it once but it was enough to infatuate him and he wanted to see it happen again. Instead he was making her miserable and himself miserable so maybe it was better if he really did leave. She clearly wanted to take care of herself but if something happened to her he would never forgive himself. But what were the odds that something would happen to her? Slim right? Or was it greater since she was drunk? And nobody really knew what kind of creeps were in this town. But count on Lily to be stubborn. That was one thing that annoyed him the most. And she was right, he was acting like an asshole. But he could not help it, he was just confused as fuck being in the same room as her after a long ass time. “Look you know I’m an asshole, shouldn’t be a news flash.” he said with a shake of his head. He hoped that that was not being rude either but he could not help it. Right now he just kept speaking without thinking and it was probably going to come back and bite him in the ass. But that was bound to happen because it always did. So he rubbed his temples as the music pulsed around him. If this were any other circumstance he probably would enjoy this but right now he was starting to get a really bad headache. Well that was lovely. That was the last thing that he needed right now because it was going to make his mood just go south from here. And then it would lead them to yet another fight. Although maybe this time they could stay friends after it or something. When she said that he was not her boyfriend he felt the sting of that and then felt it times ten. She was right, he was not her boyfriend and he probably would never be. But still, he felt like it was his duty to make sure that she was okay, boyfriend or not. So he furrowed his eyebrows together as she pulled her wrist away from his fingers. The electricity immediately stopped but his fingers tingled for a couple seconds later and he wanted to grab her again just to feel that because got he missed it. “Yeah well you’re boyfriend’s my best friend and since he’s not here to take care of you looks like I’m second best so just fucking deal with it.” he said in a huff and then sighed after it. This was already exhausting and he had only spent all of ten minutes arguing with her. He could only imagine what it would be like if they eventually got together. “And if some prick hurt you because you were passed out in a corner I would never forgive myself so let’s go.” he demanded her, wishing she wouldn’t be so god damn stubborn because it was annoying as hell.

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[LILLIAN ASTIN]

[/b] she muttered shaking her head and looking down at her shoes fighting the urge to toss her cookies. ’’Why wouldn’t you forgive yourself it wouldn’t be your fault or your problem! ‘’ she added keeping her gaze focused on the ground as she still held onto the car with a frown on her lips.
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[JAYDEN NICHOLLS]

what a wicked game to play

[atrb=border,0,true] This whole thing was getting really annoying to Jayden. He just wanted things to go back to normal or he wanted her to just listen to him for once. Instead she was going to be the most stubborn person ever and it really annoyed him. So he bit down on his bottom lip and just wished that he could walk away but honestly he could not. So he was going to just sit there and scowl and glare at her while she continued to be persistently stubborn. It was frustrating because he really did want to help her, but maybe that was the problem. Maybe she was right, she was not his girlfriend and he was not her boyfriend so maybe he should just leave. Something in his mind was telling him not to though, he could not leave and it really bothered him, it really did. He hated this feeling that she was giving him but he loved it at the same time. Maybe he was just one of those people who liked to be hurt. He could not remember the official name but maybe secretly he liked being hurt emotionally. Well he learned something new about him every day. He probably was not one of those people; he just wanted to make sure a friend was safe. Even if she was not his friend anymore, he would not forgive himself if something happened. This could possibly turn into a problem. He felt kind of triumphant when she had not said anything about him being an asshole anymore. It was no big secret, Jayden knew that he was. It was only when he got really upset though and his filter would get shut off and he would just think of anything that he could to spew out. He just wanted her to feel as shitty as him sometimes and then he would feel really guilty about it because then he would not want that. He just wanted to stop feeling like an asshole and he wanted to stop this misery. He hated being miserable and without her he definitely was miserable. He had no idea what he was going to do but he had to do something; this little situation was not working out in his favor. He needed to just get a grip on his shit, that was the only thing keeping them apart, or so he was thinking. It was really one of the reasons why they could not be friends and god damn it was all his fault. Now he felt even worse. Jayden then furrowed his eyebrows together once more as she said that Julian would rather be doing, well whatever the fuck he was doing. What kind of guy would not want to hang out with his girlfriend? If she was his girlfriend, Jayden would probably show him off to everyone. So he shrugged. “Well still, I’m not leaving until you come with me.” he told her in a stern voice. He hated using force, but it seemed like she was going to make him do it. So he sighed and then bend down and wrapped his arms around her thighs before he lifted her off the ground and threw her over his shoulders. “And since you won’t do it willingly, I’m taking you by force.” he told her and then started to stomp away towards the buses, more than annoyed at this point. She was so god damn stubborn and he was so god damn stubborn that something bad was bound to happen, it would be a matter of time when it happened.

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[LILLIAN ASTIN]

[/b] she muttered when he said he wasn’t leaving without her well two could play at that game because she wasn’t going to leave with him. She refused to go back to the bus just so he could bring her to her bunk and disappear again if he really cared about her wouldn’t he at least stay and make sure she didn’t have alcohol poisoning which was something she was sure she was on the verge of having considering she couldn’t even remember how much she had to drink. She watched Jayden closely confused by his movements at first until he grabbed onto her and lifted over her shoulder. Lily was way too drunk to run or fight off his grasp even though she tried it was a weak attempt if anything. She kicked her legs though and hit her hands against his back sloppily. ’’God dammit put me down Jayden!’’ she yelled trying to wiggle out of his grip with a frown. Eventually though she got tired and the more she moved the more her head spun so she slumped against him and began to cry. ’’Just put me down and stop pretending you care please’’ she whispered softly not even sure he had been able to hear her.
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